Can You Fall Back in Love With Your Partner?

According to Carla Marie Manly, PhD, a clinical psychologist and author of The Joy of Imperfect Love, “it's normal for partners to occasionally experience a sense of ‘falling out of love.’” Relationships evolve over time, and your emotions may fluctuate with these changes.

According to Nikki Coleman, PhD, a licensed psychologist and sex self-confidence coach in Texas, changes in those warm-fuzzy feelings often stem from multiple factors rather than a single issue. Common reasons might include mental health challenges, changes in personal values, financial stress, parenting responsibilities, or time spent apart due to work. Any of these factors, alone or combined, can cause a couple to drift apart, even if neither partner has done anything “wrong.”

Falling out of love doesn't always mean it's time to end things; instead, it could be a chance to reevaluate the relationship and reignite your bond.

But first, here's how to tell if you've lost that loving feeling:

1. You’re no longer curious or eager to find out how your partner is and what they have been doing

2. You feel apathetic about your relationship and where it's headed.

3. You’re not communicating with your partner the way you used to.

4. You find yourself creating physical and emotional distance.

5. There’s an increase in conflict (or lack of interest in resolving it).

6. You’re not as interested in quality time as you used to be.

7. Intimacy and sex are minimal or nonexistent.

8. You think about life without your partner.

9. Their quirks and flaws feel increasingly annoying.

10. Your lives are moving in different directions that don’t feel aligned.

What to Do After You've Fallen out of Love

Consider the root of the issue.

Harouni Lurie suggests that before making significant decisions regarding your relationship, it's important to identify the reasons behind this recent decline in affection. Is it due to circumstances, such as one partner working excessively? Or was there an unaddressed betrayal that led to a gradual separation?

According to Sarah Epstein, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Philadelphia and Dallas, there might be a single critical issue, but typically, multiple factors are involved. Additionally, the cause(s) might be beyond your control. Manly notes, “Sometimes, the issue is unrelated to a partner’s behavior and is instead connected to stress, unresolved internal matters, or personal changes.”

Epstein suggests that you might not be falling out of love but rather feeling disconnected. Perhaps you and your partner are in different stages of life—such as your partner beginning grad school while you focus on advancing your corporate career—leading to a sense that you no longer share much in common. What were once closely linked lives now appear to be diverging.

According to Epstein, once you identify the root of the problem, think about what you need to restore your connection. Manly mentions that there is no universal solution for rejuvenating a relationship, but self-reflection is frequently essential. This could involve activities like journaling, engaging in a passion, or consulting a therapist.

Evaluate your overall compatibility.

This involves evaluating common values and long-term objectives. “Identify if the challenges you're encountering are temporary or if they indicate deeper incompatibilities that might be hard to resolve,” Santan advises. “This evaluation can provide clarity on whether the relationship can be saved or if it might be better for both parties to move on.”

Then, talk to your partner.

Admitting that you're falling out of love can be difficult, and conveying this to your partner is even more challenging. However, Santan recommends starting an honest and compassionate discussion about your feelings. "Select an appropriate time and setting to share your thoughts, concerns, and doubts," he advises. "Clearly express your emotional state and be willing to listen to their viewpoint as well. Remember, effective communication is crucial for mutual understanding and discovering possible solutions."

From there, you have several choices: You can determine if the relationship can be mended, end it, take a break to further evaluate, or seek couples therapy to help you navigate the situation. “After self-reflection, communication, and professional advice, you will eventually need to decide on the future of your relationship,” Santan says. “Keep in mind that this decision should be made with careful consideration of your own well-being and that of your partner.”

How to Fall Back in Love with Your Partner

Focus on self-reflection, communication, intimacy, and quality time.

“Rekindling love requires time and effort from both partners. It might not happen immediately, and patience, understanding, and commitment are essential,” Santan explains. “If both parties are willing to invest the effort and are open to growth, it's possible to rediscover the love and connection that initially united them.”

Remember, as you both evolve and change as individuals, your relationship must do the same. “The aim is to find new ways to rediscover each other and continuously experience being in love with them,” says Coleman.

Remember what you loved about your partner at the beginning of your relationship.

Take some time to ask yourself, ‘What attracted me to my partner? What helped me fall in love in the first place? What are some things I said or did but don't anymore? What are some things they said or did but don't do anymore? Are these things I still experience or notice with my partner?' Jagdish says. “If you can identify these things, look for them in your relationship again.”

It all comes back to getting curious about your partner. Imagine going on a familiar hike—with an incurious mindset, you may not be as interested in your surroundings because you’ve been down this path before. However, if you have a more curious mindset, you might say to yourself, ‘I know I’ve done this before, but it has evolved since the last time I’ve been here. There’s more to see, learn and cherish,’ Manly says. Maybe a boulder hasn’t moved since your last trek, but this time, you notice the way the mica in the rock sparkles in the sunlight, helping you appreciate its beauty all over again.

At the same time, don’t compare your relationship to a past version.

It’s useful for couples to think of their relationship not as one relationship, but as many different versions. “What your relationship looks like at 20 isn’t going to be what it looks like at 40, 60, etc.,” says Epstein. “Beliefs, values, trauma, all of these things will change your relationship over time.”

Instead of thinking, “How can we get back to what our relationship was?” reframing the question to: How can this relationship work for us now? What can our love and connection look like going forward?

Ultimately, whether you decide to rebuild or end the relationship, know that you deserve happiness and all the joy that lasting love can bring.

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By Tianna Soto, Kaitlin VogelUpdated: Mar 16, 2026 4:17 PM EDT