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How can I tell if my partner has been cheating on me?
What are some of the common factors around infidelity?

The sense of betrayal that comes with the act of infidelity and when it gets found out is sometimes simply too much for the relationship to handle and leaves the betrayed partner with a sense of loss, grief and mistrust that can affect them for years to come.


The act of having an emotional, romantic or sexual relationship with someone other than your partner can be the most painful and bond-breaking betrayal that a relationship can go through. 

For some couples, although it shatters the sense of trust that is the foundation of their relationship, they can slowly rebuild the sense of trust and belonging that was lost and the relationship can begin on the path of healing and growth through the hard and often painful work, of talking through all the raw emotions, doubts and uncertainties that this experience has brought to their relationship in the therapeutic setting, .


A consequence of this slow rebuilding process through marriage counselling is that it cause the couple to build a new foundation, that takes account of the infidelity and together you start to make sense of it and your relationship, in a different way, that can create the level of trust and companionship you desire.

It is impossible to name all of the factors that can lead either partner to the act of cheating, as each relationship is a unique combination of two people with their own histories that they both bring into the partnership.


However, some of the common patterns researched show that:

  • A lack of emotional intimacy and a feeling of disconnection

  • A feeling of instability in the relationship

  • A want to feel desired or as a reaffirmation of sexuality

  • Martial or Relationship unhappiness

  • An inability to enjoy sexual relations with one’s partner

  • Presented with the opportunity to have sex

  • The desire to have sex with other people

An important factor to remember is that deciding to go into relationship or marriage counselling soon after the devastating effects of the infidelity have been brought out, can prove to be more helpful to the relationship in the long-term.

Marriage Counselling

We can help you:

You may be wondering:

  • Can the relationship be rebuilt again?

  • Can relationship counselling be helpful to us?


It can be extremely beneficial for each individual and for the relationship as a whole, when couples come into relationship counselling to speak in-depth about:

  • all the aspects that surrounded the act of infidelity,

  • how it has affected the relationship 

  • understanding the many aspects of the relationship that led up to this painful event

  • working through what is needed by each individual to move forward

  • what was missing from the relationship

  • what behaviours need to change for the future

  • how to rebuild communication

  • how to develop strategies to restore trust

  • how to increase emotional connection

  • how to increase physical and sexual intimacy

Although the outcome may be unknown at the beginning, the very act of speaking about the problems that the relationship faces and exploring together, within the therapeutic environment, can be a highly useful, productive and healing experience for the relationship.

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